Love in a Letter
by RobzBella
Summary: Bella and Edward have been together for 3 years. One night Edward doesn't turn up on their anniversary date she receives a text to check something under her pillow from edward… what will she find? Love always finds a way.Or does it? does bella lose faith
1. Chapter 1

**A/N****- I listened to Taylors Swift- Love story and I came up with a random but cute idea for a story. I have no idea how it will turn out but we will see how it goes. Usual pairings!**

**Summary: **

Bella and Edward have been together for three years. One night Edward doesn't turn up on their anniversary date she receives a text to check something under her pillow… what will she find? Love always finds a way.

**Chapter One-** The I Love You's

B.P.O.V

It's the 13th of May 2010, 3 years today. 3 years since Edward asked me to be his girlfriend.

"_Edward" I said excitedly. It always made my day seeing his face. It was pure perfection and he never looked bad. Today Edward had a humongous grin upon his face. He gave me a friendly cuddle which was our normal greeting when we see one another. _

"_What's got you all cheerful today Edward?" I said. I couldn't stop smiling when I said his name. It made me feel privileged to be part of his life. I was a main part of his life I was his best friend and no-one could wreck that. _

"_Oh just you Bella" He said as if it was the most obvious thing and as if I was missing out a piece of vital information. _

"_MEEE? What about me?" I practically squealed. I wasn't use to Edward acting like this. _

"_Oh dear Bells. You really don't see yourself clearly do you?" he laughed as my blush became more pronounced. _

"_It seems you get more pretty everyday" He said. I could not look at him I did not want him to see how red my face actually was. It was kind of embarrassing. _

" …_. Okay?" was all I managed to say. _

"_I can understand if you don't want to. Believe me I can understand if you don't feel the same. I think that after all these years I need to get something off my chest right now. Isabella Swan I love you and I've kept it a secret for about as long as Emmett has been gay but please please will you be my girlfriend and stop my agony?" he said. I could tell when Edward Cullen was lying and this was not a time for that. I could see pain sketched upon his face as he eagerly awaited my answer. _

" _hmm… I thought you'd never ask" I said as I took his hand. I could feel relief in every part of his body and he smiled angelically. _

"Morning sleeping beauty" Edward said as I yawned like a great big hippo.

"I believe I have something for you!... However its going to have to wait until tonight. On our surprise date" He warned. Every single year Edward Cullen organised a magnificent anniversary date. He never would let me organise it because he believed that I deserved something truly special and he wanted to commemorate 3 years together. How sweet my boyfriend is.

"Aww Edward. You know you don't…

"Hush your gums Bella! I'm going to do this my way. You will have a tremendous evening tonight and you won't spoil it" He interrupted. How could I say anything to that.

"I love you Bella" Edward whispered softly into my ear. I smiled in my own flirtatious way.

"I love you more" I said. He raised one eyebrow at me.

"Wanna bet love". He challenged. As we both walked into our different departments at work.

Edward was a General Practitioner (a doctor in other words) in Forks Accident & Emergency. However I was the receptionist. Edward got to finish earlier that me today so he could prepare for tonight. He told me the location and what time I had to be there and that was it.

After work I went home to get all dolled up for my "magnificent" date tonight. On occasions like this I always made sure I looked beautiful for Edward. I know what he would say 'you don't need any make up. You are so beautiful'. Blah Blah Blah.

Tonight I decided I would wear my new black dress. It was a black ruffle evening dress with sequined lace at the back. I knew Edward would like it. I re-read the text Edward had sent me earlier:

"_Bella. Please meet me at the Port Angeles Mall, in the car park where I will take you to somewhere amazing. Be there for 7.30pm. Love you always Edward xxx_"

Of course I would. It just sounded a bit of a funny place to meet him. Being me I got there completely early. I arrived at 7pm gah! I had half an hour to wait.

Half an hour soon turned into an hour. Then an hour turned into two. What was happening? This was unlike Edward. Maybe it was his plan to arrive fashionably late. I gave him a ring. Ten rings and then it went straight to voicemail.

7pm then turned into 10pm. I then left to go home my eyes filled with gallons of tears. I was heartbroken. Edward never did this, what was going on? .

That night I cried myself to sleep. No apology text or nothing, At 01.30am my i-phone buzzed beside my dresser. THIS text was from Edward.

"Bella. I know you will be hurt because I left you. That's by rights too. Please look under your pillow it will explain everything" It said. How the hell did Edward get into my house to leave anything?. It was a perfectly crafted letter folded up in three ways. Being curious of course I opened it:

_Dear my Bella. _

_I know I left you stranded at Port Angeles Car Park. It was never my intention to hurt you. I care about you more than my own life and I always will. But now the time has come for me to leave. I know you will be upset as you are reading this but please do not cry on my behalf. This is not a break up because you are the most important thing to me. But something has happened and I have to leave urgently. It breaks my heart that I cannot tell you anything as it kills me that I can't share secrets. But I assure you know that this IS a life threatening emergency, I am doing this to save you and everyone I care about. Listen to me as I tell you this. Isabella Swan I will keep you informed of everything that happens. I will write to you every day, every single day with the hope that you don't move on. But when I return I have every intention of making you my wife so that we can be happy together once more. Bella never forget what I said all those years ago when I saw you engrossed in your book trying to hide what you were feeling. I said "someday someone will make you happy and whatever your feeling know will be insignificant because you will have someone who loves you that much they will do anything for you". Little did you know at that point that the person I meant was me. How could you know? But I did. I knew when I first laid eyes on you, you were the girl of my dreams even when you don't believe it yourself. Bella I love you so much and I always will. Every day I will think of us and how It will be when we are back together and you are in my arms once more. I promise I will write soon, as soon as I can. Please don't cry when you read this. I love you sweetheart; you are the most beautiful thing in my world. _

_Your Edward xx. _

But how could I not cry ? A hole began to appear in my chest and then everything else faded to black.

**A/N- What do you reckon. Crap? Or good? Let me know. You know I love your reviews hahaha **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N****- Thank you all so much for your amazing reviews. Some of them were downright funny and some actually made me get close to tears cos you said how good I am! Thanks… even though I didn't believe it myself Lol. . Aww im dead chuffed that you are liking this story. You have no idea how much it means to me. So I dedicate this chapter to all my lovely review-ees! Like my invented word Hahahah! Thanks!. And Alonzee! With the chapter!**

**Previously **

Edward left Bella on her anniversary date stranded, however he left her with a heartbreaking letter to tell all

**Chapter two**

"No Charlie!" I yelled.

"You need help" he said sheepishly. Lately everyone was afraid of me. I knew they thought that the smallest thing could break me. But the fact remains that I was already broken. The love of my life has now exited my life with no signs of a return. The only hope I have is a letter from him. But how do I know if what he meant was the truth?. In my heart I know im unimportant. He is a professional doctor able to speak 6 different languages. Im nothing and I know I never will be nothing. So yes they were right I already was broken. It has been two days, 48 incomplete hours. My body was dying inside in the emotional sense. My heart was not whole and nor would it ever be again. The person who got my heart beating has gone but I will never forget. No i will never forget. I know he loved me once a time. But a letter has no meaning. He has gone and he will never return.

While I was deep in thought about my new emotional state. Charlie was staring at me.

"Your blank bells. Did you not hear what I just said to you?" He questioned.

"Hmm?"

"I SAID bells you have a letter I do not recognise the handwriting. Might be a personal reply from a college" Charlie suggested. This was the bomb that was set up inside me. It had no destructed. Anger rapidly built up inside me.

"I DON'T WANT ANY LETTERS DAD!. I CANT… I WONT… NO DAD! NO LETTERS. GO… GO… PLEASE GO" I screamed. I knew I was crazy but that didn't matter. I more or less accepted that fact. My hands were on either side of my head as I melted onto the floor.

"Please Bella. Come to the hospital. The doctor can help" he offered

"I want you to get better. Don't you want that for yourself". Charlie said. I ignored this comment. I knew that question was rhetorical but I answered it in my head anyway. No I did not want to get better. Getting better… meant healing. And I wanted to avoid healing with any means possible. I knew it sounded utterly crazy but it was the truth. I had to avoid healing because healing meant forgetting. I will never forget the three years of my life where no-one will understand how it was. Secondly I did not want to go to the hospital. I did not want to go back to work. Even though I was scared of forgetting I could not face knowing that Dr… Cullen would never be there. Never dazzling the patients with his charming personality. It was too much, it would be a nightmare.

"This is worse that I thought" Charlie mumbled. He thought I couldn't hear but lately my hearing had become more pronounced. I was capable of anything now.

I didn't want to cause Charlie pain. He didn't have to suffer. I would be suffering enough for the population of the worldwide universe. But I couldn't help it. Talking about what I was going through was not an option. People think I am attention seeking already. The cruel gossip world of Forks. I went up to my room lazily that night. I cried myself to sleep. It was all I was capable of doing. It was all I felt like doing. I didn't cry the first night. Only now have I truly begun to feel what I actually feel.

I wasn't truly sure whether I was awake or asleep. Just one of those stages where it's 50/50. However I heard Charlie creeping up the stairs. He laid something on my bed in a white envelope. A letter.

"I hope you feel better soon Bella" he said. It was a hope and a promise that was broken before it was made. I know he thought I was asleep. Why was I so afraid of this envelope? What had it done to me?

My reminder of what I was left with was because of a letter. I called it the letter of abandonment. But why was I so curious. I just had to open it that's why.

_Dear my Bella_. (If it was possible my heart ripped further apart)

_I hope by now you have read the letter. Explaining everything. I'm hurting so much Bella. Being without you is excruciating for me. I don't think I have a heart anymore. I've left it in Forks with you. Please look after it. I know how strong you are. Right now you won't be feeling right. I expect you and I are feeling the same. We always were linked together and I've known that all along. Please don't hurt my darling I need you to be strong. You're strong enough for both of us. Just live your life for me Bella. I love you. I know you don't see yourself clearly. Don't let that break your faith in me. I meant every syllable I said in the last letter and this is not a break up or an easy way out. I would never ever do that. Don't doubt what we had. I know you well enough to know that is what you're thinking right now. I also know that everyone is worried about you. Please Bella don't ask why. In time everything will be explained. I promise you. Today I've had a hard time. Everything in this place is reminding me of you. The smell of strawberry shampoo and red trucks. This is my own personal heaven and hell at the same time. What I mean is I'm reminded of what is waiting for me where you are. It's killing me that I can't reach out and kiss you. Like I say I'm not whole anymore. I won't be until I'm reunited. I have a terrible task to attend to. Don't worry for me please honey I'm fine. Could I ask you for one tiny thing? Please reply to this letter and fill it with every single detail of your life in the past 2 or 3 days. Leave the letter outside the door. Please do not go looking for the person who will pick this letter up. That is of most importance. If you trust me and love me as much as I trust and love you, you will do that for me. I am protecting you. Always remember this. You're the one I care about. _

_Love Edward. _

_P.S. Our first night together is still on my mind. _

Crying was not an option. I was wrong; I had everything to hold on to. Even though I hated not being able to see him I didn't have an option. Time was crucial. I had to write back as soon as possible. What was the point in wasting time?

_To My Edward_

_You are right as you are always. I cant tell you how I am feeling, as you know I'm not as good with emotions and feelings as you are but my pain is intensified every day. But you don't need to hear that, of course you don't. Please tell me how to be strong, because I don't know how. I don't know if I'm capable of that right now. I will admit I did break faith in you. It's just that you being with me as always been like a dream I just thought you wanted to break it to me in the best way. But now I know that it is not the case. I love you completely Edward Mason Cullen. I wont ask why then. But if you know it must be that you're keeping watch. Why can't you show your face once? Just one night Edward. You don't know how it would help me. Just to have you in my bed once again. I miss our nights. It kills me to be back here just as it was before I graduated high school. You're not alone with the whole reminder thing that is exactly what it is here. I can't go to the hospital and I will not until you are safe and here again. Edward I don't want to worry you. But you have asked for what I have done for the past few days and I won't let you down. Please don't be upset babe. The first night that you left was terrible. I could not do what I would do on a normal evening. The lights were switched off I stared at the ceiling from 01.30am till the sunrises. I don't know what else to do. The following day, I sat up in my room in your t-shirt you gave me and looking at all the cards, it gives me hope. For 17 hours I was sitting there in my bed. I felt too exhausted to move. As you very well know Charlie is advising me to see a shrink or speak to a friend and I cant do that. I should tell you that Charlie told me I had a letter from someone. He didn't recognise the writing. I more or less screamed at him, I didn't want a letter. I was afraid of feeling what I felt the night you left. But I'm ok. Knowing that you're out there and occasionally looking out for me is fine. Please reply and I will ask no questions. I remember our first night together. We were so scared! But it was magical. _

_Love Bella xxx_

_P.S. I remember our first anniversary night. Your reaction!_

**A/N- OME! I actually cried writing this story. How strange is that. Anyway review people!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N****- Thank you so much for the reviews. They are still making me really emotional. It's always the best thing when people love your story. Omg this is becoming the best story because you all love it better than the other ones. Thank you, and to the Reviewer that wanted to know if this story is spontaneous. The answer to that is YES. Ha-ha I can't plan stories. It's better if I make it up as I go along so I have no idea how Edward comes back and the reason why he left yet. But feel free to give me any suggestions readers. Next time you might wanna sign in before you ask me a question Lol. Sorry I couldn't reply personally. Wow this is a long note. SORRYYYYY! Gem x… Suggestion: listen to Taylor Swift- Fifteen!**

_**Chapter three- Realisations **_

**B.P.O.V**

Of course I did as I was told. I could not miss an opportunity to get a chance to speak to Edward even if it was only written communication. As I said it was completely unmissable.

It may have been pretty pathetic but I made some hearts out of pink card. It was a way of wrapping my love in a letter. It's so sad but I was giving out everything I had. I didn't want to neglect Edward of anything. He had to know that I 100% completely adored him and his absence didn't change anything. The letter was also surrounded with ribbon it was my silly attempt at creativity.

**3 days later**

No reply. He must be busy with whatever he is doing. Although he did promise to write every single day…. Every single day of forever, may I point out!

"Bella. Jacob's coming round" Charlie called. A mischievous grin alighted on my face. Jacob and I always got into trouble. Edward loved me having friends just outside of him and his family. Jacob was my special friend. Whenever Jacob was around I felt relaxed. It was someone I could be just me. Edward and Jacob are the only ones who saw the true Bella.

"Great" I yelled down the staircase. So now I had plans today. The letter will come tomorrow and it will be fine. See nothing to worry about!

It took Jacob no longer than 15 minutes to arrive at my house as usual.

"Bella" he greeted me. It was more like a sigh. Oh boy.

"Hey Jake, come in. I'm in my room" I said as he raced up the stairs.

"Wow you look a mess" He said. I realised I hadn't seen Jacob in a while, this statement shocked me. I then realised how he cut down to the harsh truth of situations. I didn't bother with make up. I have no one to wear it for.

It was that moment that the previous feelings I felt had crept up on me. I was having a major epiphany.

He hadn't replied because he thought that his letters was enough to satisfy my needs for a while. I knew he was trying to keep me sweet. It had always been a lie. I knew sometimes when Edward and I were together, there were moments when Edward had not totally been into the relationship. Was the truth that he didn't love me? I was positive it was.

"Jacob please go keep Charlie Company for a minute. I've got something to do I said" with my best attempt of keeping up a cheery attitude.

"Sure bells. You take as long as you need" He said. I knew from the way he said it that he knew there was more to the reason why I needed time alone.

As soon as Jacob walked out of my bedroom. My mind zoned into flashbacks.

_Our first kiss_… my heart beating out of control because this beautiful boy had chosen me. The kiss had made my head spin round. I could see his face… like he wasn't totally into it.

_The night we first slept together- _I thought it was magical. I remember how I was scared. He had claimed he was scared too but the motions weren't there at all.

_The truth at last;_

_I gave everything I had to a boy who changed his mind __**(a/n **_**a turn around of Taylor swift song Lol)**

I had been used. I needed to cry. Now wasn't the right time. I had to act normal for my friend. It wasn't very hospitable. I glided down the stairs while trying to hold my emotions together.

" Bella" Jacob called. It was not his normal its-lovely-to- see-you- again- face. It was a look of sympathy. Jacob held out his arms for a comfort hug. Who was I too deny comfort. I needed to belong. The last three years have been a lie.

I embraced in Jacobs arms and I sobbed my heart out. I sobbed three years.

"He never… loved… me Jake. I'm… ssstupid" I stammered. I could not fully function a sentence.

"Your not stupid Bella, You were in love. There's a difference" He said. Jacob didn't complain me sobbing he held me still and he was very patient. Jacob would be rewarded. I owed a lot to Jacob. He had just turned 18 and he didn't need emotional wreck Bella. I was grateful.

" Three years Jake. I gave everything to him. Every time he said he loved me I always believed him. I was fifteen Jacob. What did I know? I was young. I thought it was love, What if I had just been fooling myself and not being able to see what was in front of me. We had dreams of getting married Jake. I don't know whats going to heal this" Oh my god I didn't realise I had just spilled it all out to him. Jacob laughed at my expression.

" Its okay Bella. It will be our little secret. I will help. Call me Mr Recovery dude" Jacob laughed. I couldn't help but smile. Jacob.

**A.N- As most of you know, I DESPISE JACOB. But it is crucial to include him in this story. Any suggestions on how I can improve would be fangtastic. Should I make a love triangle or not? I need to know ASAP!**

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- Right Taylor Swift's album Fearless is the soundtrack to this story. So if you have the Album you will know exactly what I mean. Its amazing. I want to thank all my reviewers. Good news. I won't make this a love triangle. Most of all I want to thank Twilight Nut for his amazing review and his ideas. It was amazing and I will definitely use them cos they are Fab. **

Tracks for Chapter 4: Tell me why and Breathe

**Chapter four- Answers**

B..

On this unusually sunny morning in forks I had received a letter, but I knew it didn't matter what the letter said it was insignificant. I knew the truth but could I tell Edward all about this. I didn't want to open it but curiosity always got the better of me because I'm an idiot.

_Stupid girl _I thought to myself. It was true I shouldn't rip myself up like this but 3 YEARS! It's not going to heal over night.

I ripped open the seal of the envelope like a maniac. Who knew what I was feeling inside? Of course I was frustrated, heartbroken but most of all it was more than hurt it was pure anger, I couldn't stop saying 3 YEARS to myself. Three years of my life that I will never ever get back.

Maybe I should be grateful for the time Edward had given me? Even if it was all a sham.

The only thing that was keeping me strong was the music. Proper will power music that made me feel powerless. Of course it was all an act I was weak and I didn't trust my own feelings anymore. I cried at the track I was listening to. The words rang true to the situation.

_I took a chance, I took a shot_

_You might think I'm bullet proof but I'm not _

_You took a swing I took it hard _

_And down here from the ground I see who you are_

_I'm sick and tired of your attitude I'm feeling like I don't know you _

_You tell me you love me and cut me down _

_And I need you like a heartbeat_

_But you know you got a mean streak _

_Makes me run for cover when your around _

_Heres to you and your temper _

_Yes I remember what you said last night _

_And I know what you see what your doing to me _

_Tell me why. _

…_._

_Why do you have to make me feel so small?_

_So you can feel whole inside_

_Why, do you have to put down my dreams?_

_So you're the only thing on my mind _

_I took a step back, I let you go _

_I told you I'm not bulletproof _

_Now you know. _

It felt like years ago I had actually written to Edward.

As I read through the emotions of Edward letter I couldn't understand how one person can put you through so much hurt and lies again and again without any remorse. Surely he wasn't human. These past few days' things I had never witnessed before where becoming much clearer in my mind.

_Dearest Bella_

_I'm so sorry I haven't replied. This is the only five minutes of peace I have had. I wish I could tell you about everything that is going on here but of course you cant. I'm anguished that your pain intensifies with mine. Sooner or later Bella I will be with you again and we can carry on our lives as normal. We will be married and hopefully have a baby on the way. I want that so much for you and us. I know you do to. My beautiful Bella. I do not need to tell you how to be strong because in your warm heart you know the answer just look Bella and you will find the answer. Yes I am keeping watch, but not all the time. I wish I could look at you all the time but I have duties. I cant show my face to you Bella. Its too risky for you and I would not want anyone to harm a hair on that beautiful head of yours. Please understand where I am coming from. I miss our nights too. I miss every single one of them. I will never take any time away from you for granted again. You are my life and my sole reason for existing. Oh Bella I don't want you to feel tormented anymore. I cant do this. Know I love you. I cant breathe without you Bella. I mean that in every sense. Never forget that or convince yourself I don't. Il be there soon. _

_Love you with every cell and bone in my body_

_You're Edward _

_Xx _

LIES! I said to myself. Who does he think he is? How will lying with your feelings get you anywhere in life? " its too risky"… " I cant breathe without you Bella". I use to feel that way about you Edward. I still can't breathe without you but I have to. That sentence caught the inspiration for my reply. After this letter I doubt I would get a reply. It would be something I would have to live with I suppose.

_Dear Edward,_

_I'm sorry Edward. I love you. But know I know that you don't and never have loved me. But I guess that's ok. I don't wanna hurt you but we need to say goodbye. I don't wanna hurt anymore. I love you even if you don't return the same feelings. The only way to put down my feelings is by song. I know its pretty pathetic, but I guess that describes me perfectly however this is perfect for us. Please know that I mean every single word in these lyrics….: _

_I see your face in my mind as I drive away_

_Cause none of us thought it would end this way_

_People are people and sometimes we change our minds_

_But its killing me to see you go after all this time. _

_Music starts playing like an end of a sad movie_

_It's the kind of ending you don't really wanna see_

_Cause its tragedy and it will only bring you down_

_Now I don't know what to be without you around_

_and we know its never easy, never a clean break_

_no one here to save me _

_you're the only one I know like the back of my hand_

_and I cant breathe without you, but I have to _

_breathe without you but I have to _

_Never wanted this never wanted to see you hurt_

_Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve _

_People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out_

_And nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out. _

_Its 2am feeling like I just lost a friend_

_Hope you know its not easy, easy for me_

_Its 2am feeling like I just lost a friend_

_Hope you know its not easy, easy for me_

_And we know its never simple never easy_

_Never a clean break, no one here to save me _

_I cant breathe without you, but I have to _

_Breathe without you, but I have to _

_Breathe without you, but I have to _

_Im sorry, im sorry, _

This song mirrors my feelings exactly. I know it was never your intention to hurt me on purpose and I'm sorry our relationship didn't work out. But I need to realise that "you're not sorry" and I know that. I just wish you would have thought about how it affected me from time to time. We shared many firsts together and for that to be thrown in the pan is the most heart breaking tragedy ever.

I'll understand if you don't want to speak to me. I think it will be clean break if you don't

I love you and goodbye

Bella

**A/N- How did you think those songs suited the story? Review. Sorry it's short. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N- Wow the response I had to the last chapter was amazing I had like 20 reviews in the first few hours of uploading. I want to say thank you to my regular reviewers Georgina Cullen, Edward Cullen and Twilight Nut, you all are bloody amazing people. Thanks. You are all the only reason I write this story. Thanks for the feedback and to the reviewer who said why is Bella so stubborn? Bring Edward back. Well Bella is the way she is. And in time I will… in time… or will I? Ahahhaha. I'm glad I'm making you all emotional at least I know its affecting you all… wow I can be so mean! But I love it! **

**Oh yes and you may have tell… I'm slightly obsessed with Taylor swift lyrics Lol **

**OOH I have an idea. Edwards Point of view… soonish!**

**Chapter 5- In love with you always**

B.P.O.V

The following morning after I had written the most emotional and devastating letter of my entire letter, Charlie had gone out with Harry Clearwater at the boating lake. Of course he didn't do it on purpose, because that would be silly, he must have just wanted to escape normality not that I blamed him of course. I couldn't help how my behaviour was affecting the people around me, I couldn't change it and I wouldn't because I won't forget.

AHHHHH!

The loudest knock on my door scared the shit out of me and interrupted by depressing thoughts.

"Calm down, I'm coming. Just chill" I screamed. I opened the cream little door but no-one was there. How pathetic. Stupid kids. Bloody knock down ginger. There was something on the rusty door mat. I was shocked. He couldn't have replied already. I wrote the letter five hours ago. Who was at my door? I didn't want to read it. No I wouldn't read it. It wasn't worth reading. But this was from the man who I completely adored and loved, but also from the man who repeatedly tore my heart again and again and he didn't even realise he was doing it.

On the envelope there were stains as I inspected it closely it looked like tear stains. What a joker? Trying to make me feel bad and to actually think that he actually gives a damn how I am feeling. Of course he doesn't.

I sighed as I opened the letter for once not really knowing what the contents would be in the letter. I was also wondering if I really cared what the letter said, it wouldn't make the slightest amount of difference to me.

_Dear Bella, _

_I have never been angry with you, but now for the first time I am and I really don't like it in any way, shape or form. It's a new thing for me but I have to get this out right now. Bella I know how stubborn you are and it will take a while for you to see things clearly but you must do that, its crucial you do that. How could you seriously believe that the last three years were a lie? How many times have I told you I love you? Not once did I not mean those words. I always meant it. Like I said you are my first love and my only. I can't let you let the last three years of yours and my life disappear in a dream because it would be stupid and very idiotic. Seriously what are a few minor weeks compared to the gigantic three years we have spent together… think about it please. You must look deeply and see what your thinking is down right silly. Yes things will change but you and I never will change and that is a simple fact. _

_I will prove how much I love you right now. You know my low tolerance for Taylor Swift music because I don't like pop culture music but you love it and this song is my reply to yours because we can beat this and you know we can. Yes I am away but im never far away because look deep in your heart and you know I love you completely. It's more than love we are soul mates and we always will be. You need to believe this and help me. I don't think I will ever be whole if you don't believe me, I can't be without you Bella and you know this, I know you do. Here is the lyric for you. _

…_.._

_And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you_

_Someone else gets what you wanted_

_You know it's all the same, another time, another place_

_Repeating history and you're getting sick of it_

_But I believe in whatever you do_

_And I'll do anything to see it through_

_Because these things will change _

_Can you feel it now?_

_These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down_

_It's a revolution, the time will come _

_For us to finally win_

_We sing hallelujah, we sing Hallelujah_

_So we've been outnumbered raided and now cornered_

_Its hard to fight when the flght aint far_

_Were getting stronger now_

_Find things we never found _

_They might be bigger_

_But we're faster and never scared_

_You can walk away, say we don't need this _

_But theres something in your eyes_

_Says we can beat this _

_.._

_Tonight we will stand get off our knees_

_Fight for what we've worked for all these years_

_And the battle was long, the fight of our lives_

_But we will stand champions tonight_

_It was the night things changed_

_Can you see it now? _

_These walls that they put up to hold us back fell down_

_It's a revolution, throw your hands up_

_Because we never gave in _

_And we'll sing hallelujah, _

_Now Bella. Please believe this. I KNOW you love me and I KNOW your hurting but I didn't realise it would made you practically insane because it is insane to think I have never loved you. I am going to give you the surprise of your life soon. _

_Edward _

__

_These kisses prove how much I love you… no one can beat that. _

**E.P.O.V**

The only thing that was keeping me going working here and doing the deeds that I do… was Bella, My Bella. Her soft skin, her beautiful warm personality. That was all that was waiting for me back home. Her love, cuddling with her, making love to her. It was fair to say my whole life literally revolved around her and I wouldn't have it any other way right now. Thinking about seeing her again was the highlight of my life.

"Cullen, you have a letter" the moody elf said. Would it hurt to see someone smile around here, it would really lighten the whole atmosphere. My horrible day was now officially a good one because this meant my beautiful Bella had written back with news of her life which always made me in a pleasant happy mood. Anything about Bella did. It showed how I didn't really have a life anymore, but I wouldn't trade anything for that.

I opened the letter, still with a humongous grin upon my face. I couldn't help it .

Within a matter of seconds that happiness was instant grief I was completely confused and hurt. My breathing got up to a very fast rate until it made it hard to breathe, and then a completely new emotion came upon me, anger. Well obviously I have been angry before, but never with Bella. There was never need for it because of the warm hearted girl she is. I didn't understand how a few tiny weeks can completely tarnish our love. What was two weeks compared to three happy years, it was insignificant, a tiny detail in the works. SOMEHOW Bella had come to the conclusion that I did not love her anymore and never have. Was she on weed, did my absence turn her into a drug addict or has she got amnesia. HOW ABSURD! Is she insane? I think that's what my absence is doing to her; she is actually beginning to loose her marbles. Oh Bella, how I hate this. How could she think that I think she is pathetic?, nothing about MY Bella is stupid, pathetic or idiotic or any other harsh word I can think of, because nothing harsh relates to my Bella. Of course not.

Taylor Swift? Typical Bella. Oh my god Bella. It is not ending and I haven't changed my mind in any way, ive known the path I wanted to take for years now and not once have I thought to change course. Being without Bella would be like a fish without the ability to swim. SEE SENSE WOMAN! I screamed in my head and feeling pained that I couldn't say this to Bella's face because right now she really should ought to know how silly she is sounding now, it's absolutely comical to think that I didn't love her and have been using her.

I could never do that, I don't even know how to use someone! Bella is my first and only love. You would have to have no heart to use a girl like Bella, because knowing she was hurting is the most excruciating thing ever and I never want to witness it.

As I read towards the end of the letter it felt like my heart was being scalded and chopped alive. It felt like I was being dissected _"Wish you would of thought how it affected me". _Oh for goodness sake, when do I not think about how you are Bella? Do you seriously not know what your effect on me is? This is not a heartbreaking tragedy because this isn't over, not if I have anything to do about it. This is just a spanner in the works. I will make Bella better again, even if it is my last wish.

But what was I going to do?

As I thought about that I started to write my reply…

Clean break? Psh! be serious Bella, there will be no break!

**A/N- E.P.O.V is written at midnight so if it doesn't make no sense … tell me off Hahahah. **

**Ooh any ideas on next chapter? **

**Let me know **

**Loveeee You all! **

**Gemma **

**xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six-Yeah just hurt me feelings what do I care? **

**B.P.O.V**

For the last three hours and a half I must have shared the time between staring at the four square yellow walls and reading Edward's letter. Of course I re-read the letter most. It didn't make much sense.

Usually I would have replied to Edwards's letter straight away, but it took three hours for my thoughts and feelings to actually function in my head. I wasn't actually sure what I was feeling. I was confused. What was right? Was it the past three years where we loved each other unconditionally and nothing mattered or the pain of his absence that made me think different things? Was it just Edward's absence that made me think the things that seemed "silly and idiotic" to Edward.

I didn't know what to think. Not anymore.

I grabbed my blue byro and began the familiar feeling of writing another love letter.

_ Edward, _

_At least you can feel anger, it is most appropriate for you to feel it. Look you may be right. I may be insane or I may not. I don't know. I need you to prove it to me please. Yes I am stubborn, I guess that proves you know me, but it doesn't prove you LOVE me. I need to have you back, to have the warm feeling of you in my arms again please. Just do it for me. Yes I know the amount of times you have SAID you love me. I'm not saying you never meant it, but there could be a time when you got bored and it just became a normal routine. Like I said I don't know. I'm truly broken now. The last three years obviously won't disappear at all. I may be feeling emotionless at the moment but I can never forget what you have given me, it was truly magical. Every single moment was magical. Yes parts of what I said may seem silly to you… and it partly does to me. But why haven't you come back to me? You said you would. I don't know anymore Edward. _

_You need to look at what's happened Edward please, because it has changed because you are not with me and absence does horrible things to people that is a fact. _

_Okay Taylor Swift is not a favourite of yours I get that. I do see that you love me… in your way I do. It would be okay If I could see you once then I can believe you again. _

_Yes ive always been insane you should know that!_

_We need to stop writing lyrics to each other Edward. It doesn't make anything any easier. If anything it makes it ten times easier. _

_However I am going to write you one last one_

_If you do reply, please don't write a lyric. Please acknowledge my promise… yes it is a promise. _

_I found this lyric and it is perfect for my feelings even though im not totally sure what they are. _

…_._

_I wake up in the morning. Tired of sleeping_

_Get in the shower, and make my bed alone_

_I put on my make up, talking to the mirror_

_Ready for a new day, without you _

_And I walk steady on my feet_

_I talk to my voice it obeys me _

_I go out at night, sleep without the lights_

_And I do all the things I have to, to keep you of my mind_

_But when I think I will be alright im wrong cos _

_My hands, don't wanna start again_

_My hands, no they don't wanna understand_

_My hands, they just try and shake and break_

_Whatever peace they may find_

_My hands they only agree to hold your hands_

_And they don't wanna be without your hands_

_And they will not let me go, no they will not let me go_

_I talk about you now, and I go a day without crying_

_I go out with my friends now_

_I stay home alone, I don't see you everywhere_

_I can say your name easily_

_I laugh a bit louder without you_

_And I see different shades now_

_And im almost never afraid now_

_But when I think I will be okay, im wrong cos _

_They only agree to hold your hands…_

…_._

_Sometimes I wake and see them reaching out for you_

_Quietly breaking whatever shields I spent so long building_

_I cannot fake cos when they cry im unspoken they miss_

_Holding you baby, _

_My hands_

_No_

_Edward please come back. I love you. Prove it to me that you love me too. Im not saying I don't believe you, like I said absence does terrible things to people. Im sure you know what I mean, _

_Bella xx_

I left the letter at the usual space; I'm quite surprised Charlie hasn't found one yet. But I'm not complaining, it's a good thing.

I knew my effort was pointless because he would come up with some excuse but I still layed in my bed hoping that a miracle would occur.

Sleep was impossible the stress of it all was creeping up on me.

An enormous rock went through my window.

"Ah Shit" The voice outside yelled. I jumped out of my bed like a Ninja. Little kids! Grr! Who'd have them? I was prepared to have a slanging match with the brats.

However the little kid I thought I would find was replaced by an image of pure perfection.

" Bella" He yelled when I swung my window as wide as it could go.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- you might think Bella is a bitch here. I wouldn't blame ya! Omg I just watched the clip at the MTV movie awards. JESUS! I hate Bella. Why would you go off with Jacob! Its mean and Edwards face, he looks sad. I don't like Taylor Lautner anymore Grr! I felt like punching the screen. How I hate you now Bella. Sorry I had to get that out… but cant wait for Eclipse. **

Previously:

However the little kid I thought I would find was replaced by an image of pure perfection.

"Bella" He yelled when I swung my window as wide as it could go.

**Chapter Seven- A temporary stay**

The sound of my name from Edward's voice was still ringing in my ears repeatedly until my mind arrived on this planet!

"You came?" I questioned. Not letting myself to think the best of him. Maybe I had a warped imagination?

"Of course I did you beautiful girl" he said as he got a ladder to climb to room in a way that I guess Romeo did to meet his Juliet. God knows where he got it from. It could have been Charlie's?

"Beeee Care…full" I muttered nervously. God knows why I was nervous. Edward smiled at my reaction. How many times has he been over my house? But never had I thought about Edward under these circumstances. I had always thought the best of him never had I before thought that he didn't love me. But things change I suppose as Edward likes to say.

I took his hand to help him up in my window. Then I went and stood at the other side of the room with my arms crossed.

"What? Not even a friendly hug. I've missed you so much Bella" He said lightly with his lovely smile. Sure a hug. I could allow that. That was it; I wanted answers before anything else happened. I went over to where he was standing and embraced him. Edward started to hold me real tightly in an intimate way and swayed me on the spot. I eventually pulled away and a frown was on his face.

"You've been gone Edward. What do you expect?" I said. I felt like a bit of a bitch I gestured for him to come and sit on the bed. I hope he wouldn't get the wrong impression I looked at the expression on his face, it seemed serious.

"Bella. Look I know what your going to say" Edward started to say. Oh really? Yeah so you know that I want you to tell me its alright and explain everything! hmm not likely.

"You want to know what I've been up to in the last few weeks, reasons I left. You want me to beg for you for forgiveness. Yes Bella I will get around to all of that… believe me I will but first" He said. Okay maybe he did now what I wanted. His beautiful green eyes turned all soppy and I could look into them for miles. He took my hands entwined with his and looked into my eyes while softly squeezing my hands. I couldn't gain eye contact for long, it was impossible.

"Look at me Bella. Please look at me. You gorgeous girl. I cannot hurt you intentionally. You are sweet and caring and I can't bear to hurt you. I would NEVER ever Bella tell you I love you when I don't mean it, I would of never made love to you if I didn't love you. That proves how much I love you; I know you know I wouldn't. I'm here for the time being Bella. I'll just have to deal with the consequences afterwards. I wouldn't be here if I didn't love you more than anything else in the whole wide world. YOU are my world. YOU are the only reason I came back. I'm here for nothing and no-one else but you… hey hey hey don't cry. I'm sorry" He said while rocking me back and forth.

"No it's not you Edward. You're not why I'm crying. It's me, I've been so so stupid" I more or less admitted.

"I thought you left because of me that I was annoying you or something and you needed to escape. But oh Edward. How foolish I was" I said. How pathetic. I more of less MADE my mind think things that were unjustified and untrue.

"Ssh Bella. Its okay honey "He murmured into my hair. I was sure it was sopping wet with tears by now. He wiped the tears with his soft fingers while cradling me.

" No Edward its not okay. I'd understand if you would like me to beg after the biggest bitch ever" I said I was hoping the aplogy was in my expression.

"There's no need for that Bella. I forgive you. Ssh honey" He mumbled. He looked like he was about to cry. It was amazing how our emotions are still so in tune.

"I love you" I said.

"Yes I know that more than you do" Edward laughed.

"I'm sorry" I said. I truly did feel like a utter moron for even thinking what I thought I swear my mind was truly warped

"Stop saying sorry you beautiful oversensitive girl. Come here" He said, stretching his arms for a cuddle. I had no option but snuggle up to him while he started singing softly in my ear. I looked up in his emerald green eyes and smiled at what I saw. My beautiful boyfriend. All mine.

I closed my eyes and searched for his soft lips, the lips I had missed these last few weeks.

I kissed him enthusiastically his hand went up my top; it was like he had forgotten our chemistry we had together. It was proof we missed each other, and then of course one thing led to another as we went under the silk sheets.

A/N… Right Reviewers! I need your ideas for where Edward is disappearing to. Please help me! Cos I have no idea. Will need it in a few chapters time. So review or PM me with your ideas. Peace Out xx


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- Exactly 2 weeks till Eclipse in the UK! AHHH you lucky buggers who get it on the 30****th**** June. I really don't like you Lol. Who's excited? Just me then! Ahahhaha. Thank you for all your lovely "where has Edward been?" ideas. So far I have an assassin and being kidnapped by his own family the Cullen's. You all make me laugh. Hahahah any more ideas? I do like the ones I have so far. But I will write the best one. I could already have the best one though Lol! So let me know. Thank you xx **

**I found a few good songs for this story. I'm starting to think I should have called it letter & lyrics Lol **

**Previously **

I kissed him enthusiastically his hand went up my top; it was like he had forgotten our chemistry we had together. It was proof we missed each other, and then of course one thing led to another as we went under the silk sheets.

**Chapter 8- You are still with me **

**E.P.O.V**

I couldn't help but sing into my sweet Bella's ears while she was sleeping. She truly looked so beautiful, she looked more beautiful asleep than awake. Joke. Of course I didn't believe that.

"_When we make love its overwhelming I just touch the heavens. You're an angel. This world could leave us any day but my love for you it will never go away I don't wanna go to sleep cos you are an angel. Every night I say a prayer oh I swear you are the answer. You're an angel". _I sang into her ears.

There was movement between the sheets; oops I think I have woken her.

"Edward?" she said yawning whilst sitting up. Bella wasn't truly awake yet as she was searching for me and I was stroking her soft face.

"Oh! You're here" Bella realised. I smiled widely at her sudden conclusion.

"Yes I'm here. I'm not going anywhere… for the moment" I said. She seemed to detect the sadness in my voice.

"Don't worry. You're here for the moment. That's all I need and it's enough to keep me going for the time being" she said as she wrapped her hands round my waist and pulled me back onto the bed.

"Cheeky" I said.

"It's your fault!" she accused in a serious expression.

"Mine_! How is it my fault!" _I yelled playing along.

"You should learn to be normal and not play with my heart strings every time you touch me" she said as I chuckled rather loud.

A new expression appeared on Bella's face. I knew this was _the_ conversation.

"Edward?" she said.

"Bella?" I said curious although I knew exactly what the next sentence was going to be.

"When will you tell me?" Bella questioned.

"Tell you what Bella" as I examined the expression on her face. She was clearly frustrated. It was a good thing I had planned something to calm her and hopefully make her excited.

"Tell me where you have been lately. We tell each other everything remember" she said as she pushed her index finger onto my chest. When Bella said things like this she had the effect on me to push me into a flashback. Oh yes Bella I do remember.

FLASHBACK

_3 months into the relationship. _

"_Edward! Edward. Do you know what day it is?" She said excitedly in Forks School corridor. Aww she was counting our relationship. Hold on! Wait! If I knew that she was counting… then that means I'm counting. Damn I must love her. _

"_Yes I believe it was 3 months ago today that I asked you to be my girlfriend, and you caused me the awkwardness of rejection and said yes" I said. That sentence had sent the most beautiful smile upon her face. _

"_Aww you remember?" Bella said while releasing the full force of her lips onto mine. _

" _Oh yes Bella I do remember" I said. _

_After school _

"_Do you love me Edward?" she said. How can she even ASK that? _

"_DUH!" I said. She frowned that wasn't the response she was looking for. I rolled my eyes. _

"_Yes Bella I am in total love with you and I always have since I saw you crying in the library that day and I vowed one day you will be mine. I'm a total idiot" I said. _

"_No you're not an idiot you're _my _idiot" She said. _

"_That's true" I chuckled. _

"_Well I wanted to ask something and I don't know if it is too soon to ask you. I just need your opinion I suppose" She admitted as she played with her hands nervously. _

"_Go ahead" I said. As she was nervous… it was making me nervous. Oh crap she wanted sex? Damn im not ready but I can't reject Bella. No I can't hurt her. _

"_Well since we have been together for 3 months. We should be like a proper couple? She said. Yes! She wanted sex. What do I do?_

"_How do you mean babe?_

"_I'd like it very much if we could share everything. As in tell each other everything. I love you Edward it would be great if we have no secrets. From this day on no secrets because I love you as I just said but I think you are amazing and I want to tell you everything" She admitted_

" _Of course. It's a deal" I grinned. _

_I remember all the stories and secrets we shared. What happened when we were kids, past boyfriends and girlfriends? I got jealous when Bella told me the intensity of her relationship with a boy in Arizona. It took us hours. _

PRESENT DAY

"Edward well?" she said. She was waiting. Now was the time. Questions later. Just looking at her made me want to make it official. Like very official as official as it can be!

"That's going to have to wait 10 minutes Bella. I have a desire to do something. I have prepared for this for 3 years and I'm doing it now Bella my way so hush!" She said, now she was worried at my tone. I suppose I more or less shouted at her. I was dead excited though.

"Edward. I'm scared" she said. Silly Bella she just didn't know what to expect I suppose.

"This is no scary thing Bella. Just watch my lips and listen to me" I commanded.

As I pulled the guitar from behind Bella's bed.

" Hey where did you get…" I pressed an index finger to her lips. This was my moment.

"Isabella Marie Swan, _There's nothing I can say to you, nothing I can do to make you see what you mean to me. I know I let you down but it's not like that now. This time I will never let you go. I will be all that you want and get myself together cos you give me the final part. All my life I'll be with you forever to get me through the day you make me feel ok. You're the one thing I got right the only one I let inside now I can breathe cos you're here with me. If I let you down I turn it all around cos I will never let you go. Cos without you I cant breathe. I'm never gonna let you leave. You're all I want, your all I got ooh. Cos without you I don't know what I'd do I'm never ever gonna live a day without you here with me, you see ? You're all I need. _

"Edward… that was beautiful" she said. Clearly mesmerised with my performance.

"Ssh! I'm not done yet" I said as I reached for both of Bella's hands.

"Isabella Marie Swan. I love you obviously. I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't infatuated by your very existence but I am. It may seem absurd and I know we are only 20 but I love you and I know by some miracle you love me too. Ever since I saw that shy but beautiful girl studying and crying in the library hiding her fears I wanted to make her mine. I wanted to scoop her up and kiss every single part of her. It was true love at first sight. None of that has been lost. It is still very much still in tact. I don't think you know how I felt when you said yes to being my girlfriend…

"Yes Edward i…"

"Will you please stop interrupting me" I said calmly. She mouthed oops.

"Well no I don't think you do. I felt like the stars were in my favour like they were glistening off your skin I thought you were joking. It took me weeks to realise you loved me and you were being serious. No feeling is better than that. The feeling to know that the loveliest girl in the whole planet is truly yours and no one can take her away from you. I vowed from that moment I would treat her so special. I would take her out on anniversaries I would treat her to gifts when ever she felt lonely I would always be there. I have never broken that promise apart from a few weeks ago but it was out of my control. I feel very guilty about that but that's not my point. What I'm trying to say is…" I said as I let go of her soft hands and creeped off the bed.

"What are you doing?" She said feeling hurt. The feeling wouldn't last long. I leant down on one knee in the traditional pose a man should do.

"Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Bella Swan. You are my world I would be nothing with out you here my heart is always with you and whenever I am away it will still be in your possessions. Isabella Swan. Can you please do me the honour of marrying me and to become Mrs Cullen? So we are together forever till death or more do us part" I asked eagerly awaiting her answer. Her face went into thinking mode then a cheeky grin came upon her face.

"Of course I will marry you sweetheart. I love you don't I?" She yelled as she jumped on me.

"Bella" I whispered as she hugged me.

**A.N. I wanted to make the proposal super cheesy. I hope that effect came about Lol **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry been really really busy… don't hate me for not updating! **

**Previously **

"Of course I will marry you sweetheart. I love you don't I?" She yelled as she jumped on me.

"Bella" I whispered as she hugged me.

**Chapter Nine- I'll find out my own way **

B.P.O.V.

I was now an engaged woman with an absent fiancé, we could not enjoy the thrill together because of where he was going. I just had to find out, the not knowing was killing me.

Edward had told me that by the time I woke up he would be gone, he would of gone into the unknown as I like to call it. Even though I knew he would be gone I still had to break myself apart some more, my arms had searched to find air and velvet pillows, although their was a letter or a small note I should say.

_Dearest Bella,_

_Trust you! To search for me even though I told you I would be gone. I know, I know Bella. I really do miss you. Although I get to take a piece of happiness away with me. What's that you may ask? Well knowing that are now my beautiful fiancé and I plan to marry you very very soon, just when all this mess is over. I need to remind you again because you are so stubborn, don't come looking for me. Trust me you will get hurt if you find me I can't risk anyone hurting that beautiful face of yours. I miss you so much my love. _

_Look after my heart, I've left it with you __**(A/N- had to use it)**_

_Truly Yours, _

_Edward _

_Yeah listen Edward, that aint enough. _I thought to myself. It wasn't this time I had to do something for me, I couldn't wait around. He said he couldn't tell me, but really how bad can it be.

I did something that was very out of character and pulled out the Yellow Pages. I skimmed through the first hundred pages till I found the business page I truly needed. _'detectives' . _There were so many different companies all claiming to offer an excellent service with quick results. Then I found one that truly looked promising.

_DC Marshall- Private Hire_

_Our private company can track down anyone using our latest state of the art technology. You can hire one of our detectives for a exclusive price of $50 an hour. _

_Ring 555- 686-245 now. _

And I did exactly that. The phone rung three times before someone had picked up, it was a rough voice.

" Hello?" The man answered.

"Hello, can I speak to DC Marshall please?" I asked the man.

" Speaking" he said, oh crap I wanted a few seconds to prepare.

" Oh Hello, my name is Bella Swan. I really would like to hire a detective, I need to find my fiancé" I explained.

" Well it is customary to organize a meeting to discuss details and how much we charge" He explained. Ok that's good I thought, I would just have to explain all the letters.

" Yes that is fine Mr Marshall. I am available all day. Is there a specific time you are free?" I asked, trying to sound as nice as possible when really I was so so impatient. I wanted to find out now. I wanted to know what he was doing, who he was with. The not knowing was eating at me… literally. It was a matter of life or death… ok maybe that was a bit too strong. But I had to know… NOW!

" I have a free slot for 2pm" Mr. Marshall offered. I had to take the opportunity right away.

"That is perfect Mr Marshall. I will speak to you then" I said to him. I then gave him directions to my house. The company was apparently was based in Port Angles.

I had two hours till my very important meeting was due to take place. I had just about time to scrape together some lunch, put a bit of make up on and look presentable. The place was also a mess from last night's encounters. Edward and I had sex on almost every area of the house! So you could imagine the mess!. I would have to fix that table that was now in tatters because of last night.

At 2pm approximately , there were three rhythmic knocks on the door that seemed almost practiced.

Mr Marshall had tanned skin he was definitely macho his hair was gelled up to perfection. But I preferred men who had their hair in a casual way, like my fiancé Edward.

When Mr. Marshall arrived I offered him a seat so we could talk business, I hope he didn't notice the damage in the table too much.

" Right first tell me about your fiancé Miss Swan" Mr Marshall said.

" Call me Bella. Well his name is Edward Cullen. He has bronzed coloured hair with green eyes. We have been together since school. On our anniversary he never showed up, he left me a note saying he would explain everything and we sent letters to each other regularly. I know he is keeping watch on me because he finds out things. The thing is Mr Marshall I want to know where he is, just so I know he is safe" I said, I could hear desperation in the tone of my voice.

" Yes I understand that, I'm married with two kids. If she disappeared and wouldn't say I would like to know my self" He explained. Oh Mr Marshall you truly don't get the intensity of how different our relationships are I thought.

" Now has he ever called you, withheld the number?" Mr Marshall asked.

" Yes on several occasions" I explained looking suspicious.

" Ok, well we can track that number and I can give you an area of where he is within days " He said. I started to feel relief then.

" But unfortunately we will need your phone, and we can offer you a replacement" he said.

Just as I predicted I had to show the detective the letters, it counted as D.N.A, I surrendered my phone. As I was a new client I had to fill in forms and confidentiality agreements, so many different forms. But I needed answers as Edward certainly wasn't given me any.

I couldn't believe I was doing this but I needed to find out my own way and this was certainly it.

A/N… ooh Bella's getting her hands dirty now! Right guys this is where I need your help. Please give me some ideas on where Edward is, I need to make it good its gotta live up to the letters LOL.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N- Thanks for the reviews… you know I love em!. Anyways I now have my idea of where Edward has been all the time… Thank you to xEma- Cullenx for the idea… I plan to do it justice. It will unfold in the next few chapters. Im not good at doing fillers.. but im going to try and keep it going for a while. **

**I'm grateful that many of you love the story**

**Without further ado heres the latest chapter. **

**Chapter Ten- Feedback **

On the days that followed I didn't hear anything back from Detective Marshall, I guess he was busy… However I knew that was not the case since he couldn't begin a search until he had all the facts.

He needed to know every detail about my fiancé Edward Cullen.

I was thrilled when I received a phonecall from an unknown number.

"Hello" I answered warily.

"Good evening Miss Swan. This is DC Marshall here; I am going to need to come by to get more details. I nearly have all the information I need to begin the search" The familiar voice answered. Well that was something I guessed. I was sure I would find out what Edward was up to in a few short weeks.

Weeks was nothing compared to the months I hadn't seen him properly apart from the one evening. I wanted him back badly in my arms were he belonged. I wanted to marry him to be Mrs Cullen so I would belong to him and he would always be mine.

" That's great news Mr Marshall. What time were you thinking?" I asked. I was hoping soon.

" Well Miss Swan I've got many cases I'm working on and yours is my priority would it be possible to come over in say 10 minutes?" Mr Marshall asked politely.

" Of course, that's perfect" I yelled rather too quickly. There comes a time when you just run out of patience.

"Fantastic Miss Swan. I will see you in ten minutes and discuss the details" Mr Marshall said.

" Bye" and I slammed the phone down. I quickly ran a comb through my matted hair, the truth was I didn't really care too much about my appearance anymore, there was only one person who I looked good for and since he was absent their was actually no point.

It didn't cross my mind what Edward would think about this till now. Would he be angry that I didn't follow through on his advice? Would he be so disappointed that he thought I didn't trust him? Would he break up with me? That wasn't something I could think about at this moment in time.

Again three rhythmic knocks… and I answered the door.

"Good evening Mr Marshall. Come on in inside" I offered politely.

"Thank you" He smiled. I offered him a chair at my new glass table and then it was all business as Mr Marshall's facial expression changed.

"Right Miss Swan. I need you to tell me what Mr Edward Cullen's occupation was?"

"He was a lorry driver" I said. I knew everything about Edward.

"Edward's occupation is the key to this investigation Miss Swan. This is why I am asking you this. 9 out of 10 disappearances within couples are due to jobs. Now can you tell me what company he works for?" He asked. This question caught me off guard because I had no clue what company he worked for. Edward and I had never talked about it... I never even asked him… he never said. But now thinking about it…

"Miss Swan? The company?" Mr Marshall said tapping the blue byro on his large notepad.

" I really don't know Mr Marshall" I admitted to him… although it sounded like I was admitting this to my self. I don't know why but not knowing the company seemed odd. We SHOULD have talked about it. It seemed that not knowing this was key... But I couldn't explain it to myself.

"I see Miss Swan" He said. He couldn't hide the tone of disappointment from his voice as he wrote on the notepad.

" I thought that his job was quite weird. Now that ive had time to think about it… his job was quite a weird one" I admitted to myself. When I said this out loud it rung true.

" How do you mean Miss Swan?" He questioned.

" The hours" I admitted. I knew he would of wanted me to elaborate.

" Well what I mean is he never had contracted hours did he? They were as and when really. They always changed regularly. He would often to many night shifts. To be honest I never suspected anything odd about it until Ive had to think about it" I admitted to Mr Marshall.

" I would like to thank you for your information Miss Swan. The searching part of this investigation will begin tomorrow morning now I have all the information I need" he said and locked his briefcase.

" So that's it? Do you think its to do with his job then?" I questioned.

" Theres no doubt about it Miss Swan. Im certain that this is the main lead" He said. Wow! if only I had questioned Edward about his job I could of found all this out years ago.

" Miss Swan. I am going to arrange a meeting next week where I can give you his whereabouts and all the evidence you need. I have an available appointment at 13:00 hours next Monday? Is that suitable for you?" He said looking me in the eyes.

" Yes that's fine" I was in no position to turn down that opportunity. After all I was the one that wanted answers.

**A/N Sorry it's a short chapter… I promise a long one next time **** Review my lovelies. Xx **


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